Finding

by Nella

siandavis

“I was deeply shocked when Alice was born as an ‘imperfect’ baby,” Davey confesses on her website. “It was not what I had expected. . . I was fraught with anxiety that rippled through to every aspect of my relationship with her. My anxieties penetrated my dreams. I dreamt that Alice was swaddled in a blanket and that I had forgotten all about her. I unwrapped the tight bundle that she was nestled in, to feed her, only to discover that she was covered in a white fluid—a fluid of neglect; and yet I was unable to feed her, unable to respond to her basic needs. On reflection I saw that Alice was feeling my rejection of her and that caused me further pain. I saw that the responsibility lay with me; I had to dig deep into my own prejudices and shine a light on them. The result was that as my fear dissolved I fell in love with my daughter. We all did.”

(via mymetmodern & Meggi)